Cheerleaders.
What's the first image that would pop into your mind when you hear the word? A prefect, beautiful, fun blonde. Perfect legs. Perfect life. Regina George? Yes, something like her. The quintessential woman in American culture, the equivalent can be found in all cultures and countries. The "it" girl. The girl everyone wants to be. The most popular girl in your school, or college. The woman at your workplace who has the great job and great degree with a 2-carat stone on her finger all before 30. The allure is dizzying.
Ahh, to be HER. How perfect it must be to be her. But the reality is a little more nuanced.
Netflix came out with a documentary on the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders giving us the insider view on becoming the coveted 36 women who got selected, I started watching it as a fun watch, something to play in the background while consuming 4 other types of media as I sipped at my morning coffee. By the 8th and final episode, I had the strongest sense of, and appreciation for womanhood and community.
Who would have thought. Huh.
I think we tend to forget that something that looks perfect, doesn't mean it is perfect; and when we are reminded of it, it is deeply humbling.
As women, it's no hidden fact that we tend to portray, or at least want to portray an image of our lives that others may admire, be envious of. Dissecting why we do this would be falling down a psychological rabbit hole that this blog post would not be able to unearth, and sometimes, even if someone isn't portraying their life in that way, we may want something that someone else has, putting them on a pedestal, they never even asked to be on.
Kelsey, who is the 'Lead' of the cheerleaders from the documentary is a 5th year Veteran of DCC (Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders) and has it all. The gorgeous hair, pretty face, loving fiancé, and dances like a dream. Her looks are in fact the least of her accolades, she efficiently leads the team, is kind and compassionate, and is also a registered Nurse caring for extremely sick patients.
Madeline, a true bombshell blonde. Petite, 3rd year veteran, A legacy cheerleader (Her mother was also DCC). Cheered on in the season after losing her dad to mental illness. The team was concerned about how she was pushing on, thriving forward. A knot formed in my chest, remembering the many times I myself had done what needed to be done even though my world was falling apart.
How many of us have felt this? How many of us have trudged on despite deep personal tragedies?
Victoria was a very unique and complex lead of the documentary; I would find myself getting frustrated with her lack of confidence in herself despite being selected in the team 4 times. But on Kelli's (the team's director, I got major momager vibes from her, total Kris Jenner energy, but also very controversial) reminder to everyone on kindness and compassion, I found myself questioning why I wasn't empathetic towards Victoria, who despite being a beautiful and kind woman was deeply insecure. The narrative that millions of women live. Not feeling like they're good enough despite proving again and again that they deserve a seat at the table. These women, who look like they have the perfect lives, not any different from the rest of us.
Kelsey, Madeline, and Victoria each embody different aspects of the cheerleading experience, and they each face their own set of challenges. Kelsey’s story, with her impressive balance between being a cheerleader and a nurse, shows us that even those who seem to have it all are juggling significant responsibilities and pressures. Madeline’s grief and her determination to move forward despite personal tragedy remind us that resilience often comes from the most painful places. Victoria’s struggle with self-doubt despite external validation highlights a common issue many people face: feeling unworthy despite accomplishments.
The question remains, how do we stop being so harsh in judging others, and how do we stop being so harsh on ourselves? Embracing the idea that everyone has their own battles, and that perfection is a facade can help shift our perspective.
Acknowledging Shared Humanity: Recognize that everyone, regardless of their external appearance or success, has struggles and insecurities. This acknowledgment can encourage empathy and reduce judgment. Behind the phone screens and perfect lives are real people, just like you and I.
Focusing on Individual Journeys: Understand that each person’s path is unique and valid. Instead of comparing, celebrate your own achievements and milestones, and honor your failures also, it's all a part of the grand scheme of life.
Avoiding Negative Self-Talk: Catch and challenge negative thoughts about yourself and others. Reframe them into more positive or neutral perspectives, compassion to yourself is as important as compassion for others!
Your journey is solely yours, make it what you want because it's what YOU want, not because it looks perfect on someone else! It’s a journey of growth and self-discovery that ultimately leads to greater satisfaction and connection.